Ladies would you date a guy with the following description?(ill be back in 10 minutes to view the feedback)?

Well in order for you to understand me allow me to introduce myself, I am a strange character.. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my and godlike trombone playing and I cook Thirty Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large gl of water, I once single handedly defended a small village in the Amazon from a horny and ferocious army of ants. I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous doentaries.If it wasnt for me we'd still be fighting world war one. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.I shovel snow in the summer.I've been known to outdrink numerous camels. I am a ruthless bookie. deaf people can hear me. I don't perspire. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend pes. Last summer, I toured New Jersey. I bat 400. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy.I was actually the first man on the moon. I once read Moby , and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week and when I do sleep I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends to let off steam I participate in full contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a toaster oven. I breed prize winning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff diving competitions in montevideo, and spelling bees in bulgaria. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open heart surgery and I have spoken with Elvis. I am strange but definetly not a stranger to you.